May/June reading recap

These last two months has seen an absolute explosion of reading. I don't fully understand it, really. I would have thought the nicer weather and heat would factor in somehow, but apparently not. Here's the way things have gone for May and June. I did intend on reviewing most of these, but if I'm going to do it, it'll have to be soon, if ever. I didn't include the 16 or so romance books that have been read via a .pdf file. (as too lazy to type them all out!)

YA/Children's:
Savvy by Ingrid Law
Ink Exchange be Melissa Marr
City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare
Tithe by Holly Black
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
Dreamland by Sarah Dessen
Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier (reread)
Let's Get Lost by Sarra Manning
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (reread)
New Moon by Stephenie Meyer (reread)
Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer (reread)
Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer (reread)
If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Favourite of the bunch? Tie between The Hunger Games and If I Stay. Absolutely dying to read Catching Fire, but bawled like a little baby reading If I Stay. That's one I'll definately review. Wait for it.

Obviously I love Born Confused very much, or I wouldn't reread it as often as I do, but new fabulous books seem to win out over old favourites. The Stephenie Meyer books? Definately losing their appeal. I finished all four of them because I'd started and had set out to reread all four, but they didn't pull at my heartstrings this time. Some of the magic has been lost, which is infinitely sad.

Really enjoyed Savvy, smiled all the way through it. I heart Sarah Dessen. Sarra Manning is a new-to-me author, will be hunting her other books down, quickly, I hope.

Didn't care for Tithe at all. Not sure why it was finished. As for City of Ashes and Ink Exchange, I know that I'll read the sequels, but part of me is dreading it as well. Can't explain.

Fiction:
Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka
Small Island by Andrea Levy
Falling Man by Don DeLillo
Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks
Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen
Suddenly Single by Sheila O'Flanagan
Unsticky by Sarra Manning (read twice)
The Girlfriend Curse by Valerie Frankel
This Charming Man by Marian Keyes

The first three books I feel obligated to review, as they're part of my 1% well-read challenge. But were read at start of May, so really dragging my feet about. Part of the reason I haven't reviewed any other book is because I've been waiting to review these. Sigh.

My favourite of the bunch? Definately Unsticky by Sarra Manning, which is why I've read the book twice within two weeks. Others were quite good as well, especially This Charming Man. Definately have girl-crush on Marian Keyes now. Have signed up for her newsletter. Wondering why I haven't read everything she's written yet.


What've you read lately that was fantastic? Discovered any wonderful new-to-you authors?

Cotswold Wildlife Park

For Father's Day this year, N and I and the boys drove very far away to Cotswold Wildlife Park. Zoos are such a hit for our family. Always something interesting to see, usually on gorgeous grounds. Cotswold was brilliant, we had good weather, the boys were quite well behaved. It was a good day.

I felt a bit weird about Father's Day this year. Up until a few days beforehand, I hadn't heard from my dad. It was about a 3 month period of silence from his part. These sort of things always affect my mood, and now that I've heard from him, and he seems well, I can be OK too.

Going to the zoo last weekend though, really made me itchy to start planning our summer. I love day-tripping with my kids, and there always seems to be something interesting going on, especially now that Joshua is at an age where things are easier to manage.

What're you most excited to do this summer?

Library Loot 7

Library Loot is a weekly event co-hosted by Eva and Marg that encourages bloggers to share the books they’ve checked out from the library. If you’d like to participate, just write up your post-feel free to steal the button-and link it using the Mr. Linky any time during the week. And of course check out what other participants are getting from their libraries!

I've been a busy little bee, and been to the library! Here's what I've picked up:

1. The Girl With Glass Feet by Ali Shaw
2. The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
3. Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor
4. Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin
5. The City and The City by China Mieville
6. What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami
7. Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes by Neil Gaiman

And I've just realised that my other library book, Thirteen Moons by Charles Frazier, is still in my handbag from when I was reading it in the waiting room for my dentist's appointment. I'm really trying different things with this collection of books.

The first, The Girl with Glass Feet? Never heard of it before but I thought it had a pretty cover. The China Mieville book? Thrillers are so not my sort of thing. I hardly ever read non-fiction, but Murakami's running memoir is there. As is my first ever graphic novel. I am utterly impressed with myself. Or I will be if I actually do read these books. We'll see.

Incidentally, this is where I normally keep my library books. On a sort of midway point on the stairs, next to a small bookshelf that is home to my Robert Sabuda pop-up books and the family's photo albums. The books rest on a little drum that has been in N's family for well over 35 years. N's dad brought it to England in 1973 from Uganda and it's a zebra skin drum. We have two of them and our house wouldn't be the same without them. Just thought that I'd throw that out there.

What are you reading at the moment?

Musical memories - Work Sucks, I Know

I'm not a fan of Blink 182, I'm not. But this song really, really reminds me of my first job at Arby's. It was a month before my 17th birthday when I'd applied. I'd already dropped out of high school, got my GED and was taking classes at my local community college. I figured I'd need to get a job so I could support my book-buying addiction and to get out of the house.

When I first started looking, I applied at over 20 places, mostly at fast food places and some grocery stores. I only got called in for two interviews. One for Fred Meyer which I didn't get because they didn't think I could push heavy trolleys (which was probably true) and one for Arby's.

The manager at Arby's wasn't happy with me right from the start. It was his fault, but we still ended up disliking each other right from the very beginning. He was under some impression that he HAD to hire me but I would have understood if he'd sent me away. He didn't look at my application too closely. He saw the community college classes and assumed I was 18 and he really needed someone to work the meat slicer. So I was hired on a part-time basis, usually between 5-9 to help close the place down on the weekdays and longer shifts on the weekends when I didn't have any classes.

It was my first job, I was nervous. In many ways I didn't really know how to act around other people. How to act at work. Mostly I just kept to myself and got on with it, hardly spoke to the other people I worked with. But I got over that, and in the end, I loved it there. Even though I ended up going home smelling of grease. That I had to throw away all the clothes I wore there because I couldn't get the grease out. Even though one of my main responsibilities was to keep the bathrooms clean. Even though somedays, I'd scoop so many portions of curly fries that I felt like given myself RSI. Even though I had to wore a stupid baseball hat and a grungy green shirt and serve some of my old high school classmates. Even then.

I loved how everyone who worked there joked around with each other, asked really personal questions. One of the guys let me borrow from his movie collection, another girl and I ended up taking the same course at the community college. People there teased me about not being able to drive, about my religious choice of the moment (I might tell you about some other time). We all shared this common dislike for the manager. Everyone there became my friend and I couldn't wait to go to work and talk about books and movies and what we'd seen on TV and what was happening at one of the other girls' other job. We talked about who was sleeping with who and who was having an affair and I think there was some drug-dealing going on in the parking lot, but everyone kept me out of that. It was kind of like access to my own soap opera, so when, just as I'd given my two week notice, my ex-boyfriend started working there, I wasn't too surprised. When I left, one of the girls wrote me letters filling me in on all the gossip and that made me really happy.

One of the best things about the place, was that we were allowed to play whatever we wanted on the radio. We took turns picking what station to play. When 'All The Small Things' was released, it was on all the time. Everytime the song got to 'Work sucks, I know' everyone at Arby's joined in, even though work really didn't suck that much. For me anyway. And right to the very end, the manager didn't like me. Mostly because I gave my two week's notice the week before my 18th birthday and was never legally allowed to use that damn meat slicer. As first jobs go, it was all right.




What was your first job? Do you look back on it fondly?

Mock Exam

The course I'm taking at the moment doesn't have a proper exam. Thank god. But they insist on doing a mock exam to prepare for later courses, which happened yesterday evening. I've always thought that I test well, that I don't succumb to test-pressure, but this stupid mock exam really threw me for one these last few weeks. Why have I put myself through all this angst over it?

I've done really well on my assignments, I've kept up with the reading, attended all the tutorials. I've already done everything I can to get a good mark, but still, I've been stressing over this mock exam more than I should. I was a nervous wreck yesterday. Running upstairs now and again to flip through my notes one more time, kept tapping my foot, running through the outline I'd prepared for the essay I'd have to write. I'd keep checking to make sure I had the right papers, plenty of pens in my bag. I even ran into a door. Split my lip and everything. It's still swollen.

When I got to the room where the exam would take place, I started to shred this mint packet I had with me into little bits, just to keep my hands busy. When it started, of course, OF COURSE, I'd forgotten to turn off my phone and I get a text message just as the whole class has settled into silence to begin writing. Everyone turns to look at me, definately not a good start.

I thought I did well, until the ending. I'd begun to run out of steam, my hand was hurting from writing so much and from writing so hard. By the end of it that pen was pretty useless. But at least it's over and I can breathe a sigh of relief. Except I won't know my results for another two and a half weeks. But on the up side - my new iPhone has arrived. It's so shiny and pretty and it feels like it's my reward for working so hard and turning into a basketcase.

Peekaboo

For some reason, everytime I make up my mind that this blog has died a natural death and that I might be better off moving along, things happen and I get right back into that mindset of 'ooh, I'd like to blog that.' And so the universe has conspired against me again, and (hopefully/possibly) I'll be back with some degree of regularity over the next few days. We'll see.

There's been a lot of letting go happening over the last two weeks. I've unsubscribed to nearly 3/4 of the blogs I'd normally visit. The blogs that I do subscribe to haven't been visited in roughly two weeks. You may have noticed that I haven't been blogging much or commenting. I've logged into Facebook off and on but I'm quickly losing interest in it. The only site that I continue to be enthralled with is Twitter, though even that has not been updated as often as I could have done.

But it's been a freeing experience. I've really enjoyed cutting the cord and walking away for a bit. The power that this blog/my google reader subscriptions/facebook has held over me this year has been too much so I'm still in the process of finding the right balance so everything feels right. Here's to finding that .. and quickly. I've missed you all.

TSS: Rereads

It was a beautiful day today. One of those days where I wished I'd been able to lounge in the garden with a nice light, summery read and bask in the sun. But it wasn't meant to be.

N and the boys and I made an appearance at Legoland in the morning but when Oldest went into meltdown mode because he couldn't sit at the front of the train, we went straight home. It was too hot to be accomodating temper tantrums. And I needed to study. I have a mock exam next week, so I tried to cram a couple hours of studying, but seriously? Reading about social democracy and the welfare state of Britain is such a snoozer. Even without the dire subject matter I probably would have fought to keep my eyes open this afternoon as it was a horrendous night with Oldest finally coming into our bed and then hogging my pillow and my side of the bed.

I did get some reading done. While N was making dinner, I decided to flip through a book I'd only just finished last week. Unsticky by Sarra Manning. Loved it. I can already tell it'll be a book I return to in desperate times. It was kind of an impulse buy the other day, but it's her first adult novel and meant to be the perfect summer read. I second that emotion.

It's been kind of a reread week for me, as I reread another favourite of mine, Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier, which I think I've read once every year. I was really in the mood for some good romantic stories this week and lucky for me, I had them to hand. Nothing better than that.

Children's Books

I always love it when other bloggers post photos of their bookshelves. Why is that? Anyway, I thought I'd share this photo of Oldest and Joshua's books in their new bookshelf that we've put up in the garage.

This is besides the books that are in the living room and the bookshelf in Oldest's room. I love that my boys already have their own little library. It's never too early, don't you think?

Memory Lane

Did I ever share this photo with you? I meant to. I found these old photos when I was tidying my garage a few months ago. I have a big stack of sports photos just like this from when I was little, basketball, soccer, softball. I played it all, it seems. I loved looking at these photos, remembering a time where I belonged to something, was part of a team. I need that, it seems. To belong.

It became my mission to locate all these girls I had this thing in common with 15 years ago (OK, closer to 20) and see how they're doing now. It was pretty easy, really. Facebook helped. I emailed one of the girls in this photo who wrote back to say she'd kept in contact with most of the others and she gave me some links to their myspace pages. I haven't yet emailed them. I know where they are now. A lot of them are married. Most still live in the same area. I like that idea. Living where you've grown up. I've never known what that feels like.

The most disappointing thing about this project was not being able to find the person I most wanted to find. My original best friend, number 1 above. We met on the second day of third grade and we were inseperable for so long. We lived on the same street and every day after school, I was there, knocking at her door, 'can T come out to play?' and then 'What do you want to do?' 'I don't know, what do you want to do?' Oh, I miss it. I want those days back.

But patience is a virtue, eh? I managed to track her down from T's younger's sister's friend who uses Facebook (and has an unusual name). She passed on T's phone number and the biggest thing standing in my way seems to be the time difference (8 hours). But I left a message on her machine, I'm sure we'll connect one of these days. And that makes me happier than I've been in awhile.

I like it when the choice of 'should I/shouldn't I call' is so very simple and uncomplicated. And can only bring happy results.

My Mother

I've been thinking a lot about my mother recently. If it seems like she's in the back of my head a lot it's because she is. Part of the reason for this post is a sense of balance, I don't like the feeling that I haven't told the whole story. Part of it is because it was Mother's Day in America recently and I hate that some years I have no choice but to ignore the holiday entirely.

Another (HUGE) reason is the fact that my mother's little sister, my (at one-time favourite) aunt friended me on Facebook, which means I'm one email away from contacting my mother. And a lot of it has to do with a change within myself. My mother had children very young, like I did, and she experiences a great number sad and terrible things. I've been trying to see through her eyes, to reason why she did certain things, why she made the choices and decisions that she did.

I really wish that I knew her better, but I'm afraid as well. Afraid to open a part of my heart that's been shut for so long. I don't want to be disappointed further, I don't want to be hurt again. But is the alternative any better? Is there an alternative to that? I know I don't have all the facts, I know that I have had a negative slant thrown on everything I know about her. But I've grown up believing a certain thing and I wonder how much that knowledge has shaped the person that I've become? There's only one way to find out. Send that email. Get her phone number. Talk to her, ask her questions. Open up and share my life with her. Am I ready for that? I don't know.


I don't have any photos of her before these. There's so much more to this story, but this is what I know that is the truth. I know she grew up on a Tlingit reservation in Alaska as the youngest but one in a family of 11 children. Alcoholism claimed many in her family, including herself. She dropped out of high school (like me). She married at 18 (like me). Her first husband went to prison. She was living in Seattle when she met my dad. He worked in the apartment building she lived in and he fell in love with my brother, David, who was only five months old. She was 18 when she had David, only 20 when I was born.


When the two of us were still young, she went back to school to get some qualifications (like me). She worked in low-paying, unskilled work. Factories mostly, usually the night shifts. She didn't learn to drive until she was in her mid 20s (like me). When I was 10, doctors told her that she may have ovarian cancer, but they turned out to be a huge number of cysts on her ovaries. Her ovaries were removed followed shortly by a full hysterectomy. She was only 30 at the time.



Despite all the things we said and did to hurt each other over the years, I still believe that she wanted better things for me than she had herself. She sent me packages when both of my boys were born. She liked the idea of being a grandma.



She's made terrible mistakes in her romantic partners. Terrible ones, that affected my life and my opinions of her. It'll take a lot for me to get past what those mistakes cost me. Aside from that, she went back to studying, worked hard to get a good job, built a life for herself. She's spent a great deal of time caring for her elderly father. She's taken in her sister's kids so they wouldn't be put into care. As far as I know, she's remained sober for my entire life.

In many ways, I'm proud of her but my feelings about her will always be more complicated than that. Any one emotion will always be connected with sadness, pain and disappointment.

Flowers

I really wanted to take a photo of the window boxes on the front of the house, but I didn't have my camera on my way out the door this afternoon, so this will have to do. The pretty flowers N planted in pots and things out in the back garden. Oldest apparently helped choose them.

We had a barbecue over the bank holiday weekend and beforehand N went out and bought all these flowers to make the place look nice. Everyone commented on how lovely they are and many asked how *I* found the time to plant them. Everyone was very impressed that, in fact, it's N with the green thumb around these parts. I think I'll keep him.


And finally, Oldest took this photo earlier today, of me reading Garden Spells whilst out in the garden, as per your request! I'm liking it so far. Oldest seems to be taking quite the interest in photography these days ... and the piano. Things to consider.