When Books Inspire

Have you ever read a book and then felt so inspired by it that you feel you just have to do something about it?  I have.  Recently, on a whim, I picked up Alex, Approximately by Jenn Bennett.  I honestly don't think I knew very much about the book before I started reading, but I like going into a book blind.  And it isn't the story so much.  The book is about a girl, Bailey, who moves across the country to live with her dad and spends the summer trying to track down an online friend, Alex, that she's been flirting with, only to start having feelings for her 'archnemesis' and colleague, Porter.  It's pretty cute and there's a Vespa and surfers and an odd museum and it was just the sort of lovely, romantic reading that I've been craving lately.

BUT! And here's where we get to the good part.  Because Bailey and her online friend, Alex, are totally into classic film.  That's what they bond over. They talk about meeting at the end of the summer at a local film festival to watch North by Northwest together. They talk about classic film actors and actresses, Bailey mentions one of her favourite films is The Philadelphia Story and so much of the book is littered with talk of all these people or films I've heard about ...but know nothing about.  Until now. 

I so want to start watching some of these classic films.  I'm thinking if I can find the right place to find these films I might do at least one a week.  Perhaps more if I'm really enjoying them?  To broaden my horizon and to finally do a thing I've wanted to do for awhile. 

Some of the classic films I'm considering, but please feel free to suggest others in comments or on Twitter. Or in person if you are lucky enough to see me in person, ha.  I'm going for a broad range of films and not just the romantic stories as this idea started off as!

North by Northwest
The Philadelphia Story
It Happened One Night
The Maltese Falcon
Bringing Up Baby
The Birds
Rebel Without A Cause (technically seen once, but don't remember)
Some Like It Hot
Miracle on 34th Street (1947)
His Girl Friday
The Big Sleep
Roman Holiday
The Grapes of Wrath
On the Waterfront
The 39 Steps
The African Queen
Rebecca
Citizen Kane
A Streetcar Named Desire
All Quiet on the Western Front
The Third Man

Have you ever been inspired by a book? Can you recommend a good place to start with classic films?!

#KindnessMatters

Recently I was contacted by the lovely Sabrina from Harper Collins about this new initiative, #KindnessMatters The idea of the project is to do something small and kind for someone else.  And this goes along with this lovely book Kindness by Jaime Thurston, the founder of 52 Lives.  I absolutely loved this idea and I love taking part in this, even belatedly.

During September, I wasn't in the very best shape mentally.  You can see mid-September I just stopped blogging and the two are very much linked.  I have a pretty good self-care routine and structure going and I could identify that my priority had to be myself for awhile.  The kindness that was best shared was with myself.  Doing nice things for myself, being kind to myself while I worked on my own mental health issues and everything else gets to take a back burner.

But that was last month.  And I still wanted to bring up this idea and project.  The book that Harper Collins sent over is an absolutely gorgeous little hardback book and it's filled with colourful pages and ideas about how kindness can be shared and spread.  I feel like I'd love to make these acts of kindness a regular thing, taking lots of inspiration from this book.  Today, though, I wanted to talk about one regular kindness that I already do, and it's something very close to my heart.

This is my local supermarket.  In the last year, my local store has increased the drop off point to include double the amount of space for people to donate in their store.  I fear it is because the need for local families to receive food from our local food banks has increased.  Despite living in a very affluent area there is nowhere that is free from struggling families that need a little extra support.

The reason that food banks in particular are an area that I feel very strongly about is because I grew up in a household on the poverty line.  My family needed the extra support food banks provided and those boxes of food saved my life.  Every single week, without fail, I pick up something and add it to my weekly shop in order to donate to my local food bank.  Because I remember what a lifeline it was and because I am no longer in a position where I struggle financially.  I am happy to do my small bit in order to help and support those who are still in that position.

I usually vary the items that I donate, though always taking inspiration from the list of recommended items that are always much in demand: tinned vegetables and meats, cartons of milk and juice.  But I also try to donate non-food items such as toothpaste, deodorant, cleaning supplies, nappies or wet wipes, feminine hygiene products, shampoo.  It's only a few pounds a week that I add to my weekly shop but I feel like it'll mean a lot to some local family.  I do it every week and I feel like if every one who is able to do so also donated more regularly it would make a huge difference in all of our communities.

Feminist Literature + TBR

One of the things that I've most enjoyed in my reading throughout 2017 is this exploration into other types of literature outside of YA.  I love YA, I'll always love YA, but there's so much fun and excitement in reading other types of literature too.  One of the ways in which I've broadened my reading this year is by reading more feminist non-fiction.

I think I've always had an interest in reading more feminist types of books and narratives but it's only been during this year that I've really made a concerted effort to educate myself a little bit more and to find the types of books that I wanted to read on this subject.  I'm not vastly knowledgeable nor have I read everything I possibly can so far ... but what I do want to do is continue reading more.  Here are some of the books that I have read this year and also some of the books I'd like to read in the near future.

Read

Men Explain Things To Me by Rebecca Solnit

Eat Sweat Play by Anna Kessel

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Nasty Women by 404 Ink

Everyday Sexism by Laura Bates

If You Could See Me Now by Keris Stainton


I've really enjoyed the books I've read this year.  All of the above are non-fiction books apart from the adult novel by Keris Stainton but which I've included because it is such a feminist and empowering novel.  I started off the year reading essays by Rebecca Solnit and Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie which I found really inspiring and which I believe ultimately kick-started this whole idea.  The strength of the words in Rebecca Solnit's essays in particular were absolutely fascinating and really spurred me on to reading more.  And I just think Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is just a goddess in general and I need to read every word she's written. The book by Anna Kessel was such a huge surprise to me, because I didn't really think I'd enjoy it as much as I did.  It's a book about women and sport and I've always been the sort of person who felt like 'it doesn't count' my interest in sport but Anna Kessel really changed my mind while reading her book.  I found reading Nasty Women to be interesting but like with any anthology with an array of contributors I liked some essays better than others.  And Everyday Sexism just broke my heart with statistics and personal experiences in the modern day.

TBR

(I've only included books on this list that I already own in a physical copy or digitally on my Kindle)

Girls Will Be Girls by Emer O'Toole

The Power by Naomi Alderman

Girl Up by Laura Bates

The Geek Feminist Revolution by Kameron Hurley

Moxie by Jennifer Mathieu

Things A Bright Girl Can Do by Sally Nicholls

I Call Myself A Feminist by Victoria Pepe

Asking For It by Louise O'Neill

Whereas my 'Read' section felt very samey in that they were mostly all non-fiction, my feminist TBR pile has a little more variety to it.  I feel like I'll be more comfortable reading the YA books: Moxie has been garnering lots of positive feedback having been chosen for the Zoella book club, I'm looking forward to (continuing to) reading Things A Bright Girl Can Do about suffragettes, and I've put off reading Asking For It for way too long that I'm almost embarrassed. The Power is, of course, a dystopian story about women having the power to kill at their fingertips but it's a little outside my comfort zone.  The Geek Feminist Revolution and I Call Myself a Feminist are both collections of essays so should be easy to dip in and out of.  And I know very little about Girls Will Be Girls or Girl Up.

I like the idea of continually reading more feminist stories. I'll definitely be looking for suggestions of what other titles to read or look out for.  Do let me know!

What are some of your favourite feminist reads lately?

Reading With My Boys

I have two sons. E is 11 and will be starting Year 7 in September (eek!) and The Littlest is 9 and will soon be in Year 5.  I try my very hardest to continue to read to them.  Even as they are getting older and more independent.  Both boys read books on their own (I've tried so hard to get them to write reviews or discuss book in booktube videos to no avail) and I love that they do.  But I still want to read to them.  So on occasion, I will be discussing here the trials and tribulations of reading with my boys.  I hope you enjoy.

The Littlest is a pretty fussy reader.  He hasn't really found the right types of books that he enjoys yet, I don't think.  He was pretty keen on the Diary of A Wimpy Kid books (which children out there aren't, right?) and he's enjoyed other books in the past... books by Roald Dahl and David Walliams. Funny books, mostly.  He loves the Barry Loser books by Jim Smith and Tom Gates.  But outside of these books, he struggles.  So I sometimes like to choose books to read with him that I know he wouldn't normally pick up himself.  So it was with Rooftoppers by Katherine Rundell.

To be honest, I didn't pick up Rooftoppers with the intention of reading it with either child. I had read The Wolf Wilder last year and loved it and had heard high praise for her debut, so when I saw it in a charity shop a couple months ago it was a purchase for myself. Alone.  But E went away for a week for his residential trip at the end of Y6 and I wanted to start a book to read just The Littlest and I.  Rooftoppers caught my eye on my shelves and I thought I'd take a chance.

I'm sure The Littlest wasn't too impressed when I suggested this as our next read together.  He gave me this look like ...really? but I persevered with it and I'm really glad that I did.  It's an adventure story set in both London and Paris and the main character, Sophie, and her adoptive father, Charles are both absolute delights.  I want to befriend them both and go on adventures with them.  They feel like my people.

I love the way in which Charles parents Sophie. Giving her such freedom to express herself and her creativity.  But I also just love the magical, descriptive way that Katherine Rundell writes.  The words she chooses, the way she puts together this story made me fall half in love with her as well as her characters. And The Littlest? has roared with laughter at some of Sophie's antics and the things she says.  We haven't quite finished the story yet and he seems caught up in Sophie's story and if she ever finds her mother.  And I love that.  I love that this book is such a treasure to both me as a parent reading it aloud and also to my 9 year old son. What a triumph this book is!

Why Representation Matters To Me

I know I've talked a lot on this blog about why representation matters to me but I was thinking about it recently and ...I don't think I've ever put it into one single blog post. I've talked about single aspects of myself in detail, sometimes over multiple blog posts, in fact. But never collectively.

Why does representation matter to me? 

It isn't complicated, as such.  As I've already said, I've already talked a little bit about it.  But I will try to make this post as comprehensive as I can. I've made a list and I'm not sure if even my list will fully represent who I am. But I'll try.  

The reason good representation matters to me is because my experiences as a person and in life are incredibly diverse. I'm not alone in this fact, either. I'm sure many people can say the same. I'm just saying that it matters to me because I would very much like to see myself, and people like me, portrayed realistically and in more complex ways in the entertainment that I consume. YA books for sure but also in television and film and in other types of media. Life is complicated and rich in details and people's experiences and lives should be celebrated.  Nobody should feel alone in who they are.  

This is who I am

I'm mixed race. I've talked about this a bit on this blog. My father is white and my mother is Native Alaskan, specifically Tlingit. I grew up and dealt with a lot of racial abuse and hatred because of my being mixed race. I cried the first time, in my 20s, that I saw a mixed race person in an advert on television (that representation, even later in life meant a great deal to me!). 

I'm bisexual. I wrote a post earlier this month coming out as bisexual and talked a little bit about not being fully aware of this fact about myself for several reasons, one of them being that I'd not seen very many people in my life or in the media who are bisexual so I didn't really know that being bi was okay. More representation would mean others like me might feel okay in their own sexuality sooner, possibly.

I grew up in a family from a lower socio-economic background.  My family was poor, there's no other way to put it.  We scraped by, barely living between pay cheque to pay cheque. My mom was on food stamps for awhile, we would have starved without local food banks some months. I grew up thinking that certain things were not within the realm of possibility for me: university, travelling, certain types of jobs. I was stuck on surviving life instead of living it.

I have several mental illnesses.  I've discussed these at length on this blog.  I have depression and anxiety. I'm in recovery from an eating disorder. I felt suicidal as a teenager. I used to self-harm. There was a book I read as a teenager that I truly believe saved my life. It was a non-fiction book about a particular area of mental illness and I read it and I felt (for one of the first times ever) that I was not alone. It matters. It so matters.

I had a parent with a disability and several mental illnesses. I don't believe I've discussed this as much here.  My dad was injured while in active duty as a soldier and because of injuries sustained during war, he was left disabled. My dad was my primary caregiver and it sometimes left me or my brother to help my dad out with things. He also suffered from depression and PTSD.  Very late in life, my dad was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Because of these mental illnesses (that mostly went untreated throughout my life) life with my father was very uncertain and definitely unstable at times. I remember reading a book in my late 20s that dealt with the depression of a parent and I cried my way through it because I knew how that felt. 

I am an immigrant to the UK.  It was my moving to the UK anniversary earlier this month. I moved here 17 years ago from the United States. I always feel like everyone knows that about me but I had someone ask me on Twitter where I lived before I lived in England so clearly not everybody knows. I wish there were more immigrant stories more widely available. 

I'm in an interracial marriage. Did you know N is of Indian descent? His parents are immigrants to this country too, actually, making him a second generation immigrant. There was conflict in the beginning of our marriage as other people (not us) struggled with the idea of our being together. The world can be an ugly place sometimes but more representation could make this easier on those of us in it.  

I have two beautiful mixed-race children. And finally, I have and am raising two gorgeous boys. Who are part Indian, part white, and part Native Alaskan. And they too deserve to grow up in a world where their existence is celebrated and represented.  

I've honestly never seen myself portrayed in anything I've read or seen.  I've seen aspects of me. But not something that comes pretty close to portraying it all.  It's a tall order, I know. But why not, right?  There have been definite milestones along the way: the book on mental illness that saved my life, the advert with a mixed race couple that made me cry, the book with a bi main character that helped me realise my own sexuality.  

It's all so important.  For young people, for older people.  We need and deserve stories and media that accurately represents the world we live in. 

Bisexual Characters in YA

Last week I wrote a very personal blog post about bisexuality and mentioned Far From You by Tess Sharpe as a book that had a very profound impact on me as a person.  I thought that today I might talk a little bit more about other YA books I've read (mostly recently!) featuring bisexual characters.  They aren't the only books I've read featuring bisexual main characters, obviously.  I just picked ones that I've read recently that I'd enjoyed reading.  This is not a comprehensive list of bisexual YA by any means! But having said that, I'm always on the look out for other well-represented YA books that feature bisexual characters though. So if you have recommendations, do hit me up either in the comments or on Twitter.

What I love is that there is this ...surge, almost, in bisexual characters in YA. Or perhaps I'm just becoming more aware of it? It's a possibility. Let's hope this continues.

Sophie in Far From You by Tess Sharpe

As I mentioned in my blog post last week, Sophie's character in Far From You was the first book that really made me sit up and take notice of the idea of bisexuality.  I loved the intensity of Sophie's connection to both Mina and David.  Everything just felt really honest and raw and painful in this story and I loved it all.

Harper in Girlhood by Cat Clarke

Girlhood by Cat Clarke is a wonderful story and I love the fact that Harper (and her roommate) are bisexual but while present in the story isn't the main focus of Girlhood at all.  I love that the diversity is there but that this book doesn't need to be a book about sexuality at all.  It's about friendship and grief with bisexual characters. And I admire the story more for being so.

Jordan in Noteworthy by Riley Redgate

Again, in Noteworthy, Jordan's sexuality is brought up and is a thing that happens within the text ... but this also isn't a story about sexuality.  It's definitely an exploration of gender and race and socioeconomic differeces but also a book about boarding schools and performing arts and friendship and falling in love.  But I definitely appreciated that Jordan does explore her own sexuality within this book.  That she asked herself those questions and went there.

Aki in Our Own Private Universe by Robin Talley

On the other hand, we have Aki in Our Own Private Universe.  Who is determined to, instead of only thinking about her sexuality, to act on it in this summer spent in Mexico.  There she embarks on a summer fling with another girl.  While I didn't always love the three main characters in this book, what I did particularly love is that Aki does her research and looks into safe sex practices for women. And ends up talking very openly about sex.

Kyle in Been Here All Along by Sandy Hall

And finally we have Kyle from Been Here All Along who has the distinction of being the only male bisexual character on this list. I thought this was an utterly sweet story about two neighbours and best friends realising their feelings for each other. It also has a really interesting conversation within the text about if LGBT people owe it to anyone else to come out to them.  (spoiler: no) I just find conversations of this sort to be fascinating and I just want more of them. And more bisexual characters. For obvious reasons.

Have you any recommendations for books featuring (preferably main) characters in YA fiction?

#YALC Books On My Radar

This past weekend was YALC.  It's officially my Favourite Weekend of the Year. For good reason: it's the one weekend guaranteed to have all my favourite people in the one place and we can all get together and talk and enthuse about YA books and reading and just generally be very nerdy.  Plus, I hear about all sorts of new books and authors and end up being deeply inspired.  Both to do more reading and to do more writing.  So here are just five books that made an impression on me this past weekend.

Hottest Book Around

The Loneliest Girl in the Universe by Lauren James

It's already been reported that Lauren James was the best-selling author at YALC.  And I think it's amazing news, well done to her.  I've loved Lauren James' previous books and I'm very excited for her new one! It's so pretty too. Sparkly.

Book Buzz

The Fandom by Anna Day

I thought Chicken House did an amaaaaazing job whipping up plenty of buzz about The Fandom by Anna Day, especially so far forward of publication date. So many people I met were talking about needing to get a proof of this book and I noticed Anna Day's signing queue was incredibly long.  The book isn't out until January of next year! But I'm sold too, I'm dying to read this book already so the hype is catching.

Book I Added to My Wish List Because I Heard So Much About It

Unconventional by Maggie Harcourt

Unconventional by Maggie Harcourt was a book I'd heard of ... and had been on the fence about reading. Until I went to YALC and heard so many other people say such lovely things about it.  And I heard Maggie Harcourt in the Fandom panel and I was pretty convinced. I'll buy it soon and report back!

Book I'd Never Consider Reading Until I Went To YALC

Ariadnis by Josh Martin

I'd not heard of Ariadnis by Josh Martin before I attended YALC. But I ended up going to one of the New Voices panels right at the beginning of the day and Josh Martin was there talking about this book.  Something about rival cities and two girls fighting each other ... but also possibly falling in love made me very intrigued. I love that by going to YALC I was able to be introduced to books I'd never otherwise have heard of.

Book I'm Reading Next Because YALC Reminded Me 

Mind the Gap by Phil Earle

I've had Mind the Gap for awhile and I've really wanted to read it. It's a Barrington Stoke book (and I adore Barrington Stoke) but I haven't been reading much and I was worried that perhaps the subject matter would be too much for me.  But I ran into Phil Earle over the weekend and he's just so lovely. And having a brief conversation with him and catching some of the panel that he took part in reminded me how much I've enjoyed his previous books.  I really must get around to reading Mind the Gap already is what I've decided.

What books are you most excited to read after YALC? 

New Additions to My Netgalley Shelf

So, you'll remember that earlier this month I set myself a Netgalley reading challenge in order to clear down the 10 books I had on my Netgalley shelf.  I didn't end up doing a wrap-up post of that challenge, but I managed to read 7 of the books on my list, I DNF'd another which left me at the end of the challenge with two e-books left still to read: 4 3 2 1 by Paul Auster (an adult book and seemingly 1000 pages long which is why I keep putting it off!) and also Flight of A Starling by Lisa Heathfield, which I didn't read because the last book by her that I read (Paper Butterflies!) was such an emotional punch to the gut that I didn't read another thing for a literal month after I'd finished it.  So sure, I'm a little nervous about starting another book by her!

So, I'm pretty pleased with that result, to be honest.  I have a great review percentage ratio (94%) and I feel like two books on my shelf is pretty manageable ... so of course I've been requesting more Netgalley books to make up for all the progress I've made lately.  And just to keep myself accountable, I thought I'd share with you here the new books to my Netgalley shelf in the hopes that by admitting them, I'll get them read sooner rather than later. We shall see if this plan works.  If not, here are three amazing sounding books that I really recommend you request on Netgalley if you already haven't.  Or look out for them when they're published in August/September!

Things A Bright Girl Can Do by Sally Nicholls (7th September, Andersen)

Through rallies and marches, in polite drawing rooms and freezing prison cells and the poverty-stricken slums of the East End, three courageous young women join the fight for the vote.

Evelyn is seventeen, and though she is rich and clever, she may never be allowed to follow her older brother to university. Enraged that she is expected to marry her childhood sweetheart rather than be educated, she joins the Suffragettes, and vows to pay the ultimate price for women's freedom.

May is fifteen, and already sworn to the cause, though she and her fellow Suffragists refuse violence. When she meets Nell, a girl who's grown up in hardship, she sees a kindred spirit. Together and in love, the two girls start to dream of a world where all kinds of women have their place.

But the fight for freedom will challenge Evelyn, May and Nell more than they ever could believe. As war looms, just how much are they willing to sacrifice?


I'm not even always that keen on historical fiction like this should be and I've always thought of Sally Nicholls as a writer for younger teens/MG and this looks older, so that's interesting.  I just cannot pass up a suffragette story, especially not a suffragette story with two girls in love. I am so here for that kind of story. 

A Change Is Gonna Come by Various (10 August, Stripes)

Featuring top Young Adult authors alongside a host of exciting new talent, this anthology of stories and poetry from BAME writers on the theme of change is a long-overdue addition to the YA scene. Contributors include Tanya Byrne, Inua Ellams, Catherine Johnson, Patrice Lawrence, Ayisha Malik, Irfan Master, Musa Okwonga and Nikesh Shukla.

Plus introducing four fresh new voices in YA fiction: Mary Bello, Aisha Bushby, Yasmin Rahman and Phoebe Roy.


I've been excited about this book right from the beginning. I was amongst many at the beginning of the year who were bemoaning the lack of authors of colour being published here in the UK.  More so needs to be done but I really applaud Stripes Publishing for championing this book and giving these established authors as well as a new crop of young, unpublished authors this platform.  Plus, that is a wonderful, eye-catching cover that I adore. Heart eyes. 

Moonrise by Sarah Crossan (7th September, Bloomsbury)

'They think I hurt someone. 
But I didn't. You hear?
Coz people are gonna be telling you
all kinds of lies.
I need you to know the truth.'

Joe hasn't seen his brother for ten years, and it's for the most brutal of reasons. Ed is on death row.

But now Ed's execution date has been set, and Joe is determined to spend those last weeks with him, no matter what other people think ...

From one-time winner and two-time Carnegie Medal shortlisted author Sarah Crossan, this poignant, stirring, huge-hearted novel asks big questions. What value do you place on life? What can you forgive? And just how do you say goodbye?

I requested Moonrise before I even read what the synopsis is about.  Because Sarah Crossan is just one of those authors that I trust to deliver a well-written, emotional story.  And now that I DO know what this book is about? I'm all set for my heart to get trampled over. Bring it. 

What exciting books have caught your eye lately?

New To Me Authors in 2016 and What I'll Read Next Because of Them

In 2016 I read...

The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien

I'd had this book on my shelves unread for many years. For most of my life I've avoided reading Vietnam-centred stories but I chose to read this book this year because of the connection it has with my father as well as a recommendation from a close friend.  I loved this book utterly.  It was beautifully written and an incredibly emotional reading experience for me.

Next, I think I'll pick up...

Other books about the Vietnam war, particularly maybe If I Die in A Combat Zone by Tim O'Brien, but also maybe Dispatches by Michael Herr or a book about the Vietnam War from a non-American perspective such as The Sorrow of War by Bao Ninh.  I would also like to read more short story anthologies on any topic. Hit me with your recommendations for either war stories or short story collections in comments!

Underwater by Marisa Reichardt, When We Collided by Emery Lord, A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard, and Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise Gornall

All four of these books were really well-written and were stories that had elements of mental illnesses.  Particularly OCD and agoraphobia. Because mental illness is something that is a large part of my life I think that I will always seek out books that deal with mental health issues.

Next, I think I'll pick up...

All of these books were incredible books that looked at different aspects of mental health. I'll definitely be on the look out for other books involving mental health in YA.  It's an area that I've already read extensively, so it might be difficult to give out recommendations for me in this area, but if you're feeling brave, I'd love to hear from you.  Books I've already got on my radar to possibly read in 2017 include Highly Illogical Behavior by John Corey Whaley, Paperweight by Meg Haston and The Unlikely Hero of Room 13B by Teresa Toten.

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur 

I absolutely fell in love with Rupi Kaur's contemporay poetry examining love, recovery, picking oneself up after trauma.  She really captured so many relatable things in her poetry and I love her for it. Modern poetry really stole my heart this year.

Next, I think I'll pick up...

Just based on some Amazon recommendations, I've added two contemporary poetry collections to my wish list, based on the fact that I read and loved Milk and Honey: the princess saves herself in this one by Amanda Lovelace and salt by nayyirah waheed.

George by Alex Gino

I absolutely loved this middle grade book about a trans character.  I loved the story of it, I loved the characters. I love the simplistic cover and the feel-good message of George's story.  It was a wonderful book and I'm so glad to have read it this year.

Next, I think I'll pick up...

Other #ownvoices books, particularly for trans stories.  I have If I Were Your Girl by Meredith Russo on my kindle that I still haven't read.  I really need to get to it already.  Other own voices trans stories coming up in 2017 that I need to look out for?  Do let me know in comments!

What new to you authors have you discovered in 2016? And does that change your reading habits for 2017 like it does mine? 

Series Endings in 2016

It wasn't a conscious decision to not read many series books in 2016, but that's the way it sort of went.  Besides the books I'll be mentioning in this post, I only read two other books in a series. One being the third in an unknown number of books in the series (All In by Jennifer Lynn Barnes in the Natural series) and one other book that is tentatively linked by the setting (Defending Taylor by Miranda Kenneally in the Hundred Oaks series). The rest of the books I read in 2016 (admittedly I didn't read that many books this year, especially in comparison to previous years!) were all standalone books, non-fiction books or poetry books.  

But I think it's fairly fitting that I talk about the three books I read that finished their trilogies that I read in the last few weeks of this year.  Fitting, right?  Ending a trilogy read at the end of the year? Not too much of a stretch, right? Even if it is, please stay with me :)

Witch's Pyre by Josephine Angelini

First, I finished the Worldwalker trilogy by Josephine Angelini.  I was actually a little bit wary to start this trilogy. Especially as I read the first book in Angelini's Goddess trilogy, was really engrossed in it, felt excited to continue the trilogy... and then couldn't find my feet in the second book in that trilogy.  So it was with some trepidation that I started the Worldwalker trilogy.  

And I needn't have worried.  I found all three books in the trilogy immensely readable and highly addictive. It's about alternative worlds and witchcraft, responsibility and that blurry line between good and evil and how and when you cross that line into doing bad things for the right reasons.  It's also very much a love story at the heart of these books but I loved that there is also much else around this book that gives it its heart other than Lily's romantic entanglements. 

While I didn't think that Witch's Pyre had the emotional highs that I loved so much in the second book, I felt like there was a good conclusion to both Lily and Lillian's stories as well as the worlds that are inhabited and an outcome that was satisfactory, at the very least. I felt like some of the set-up for the ending took away a little bit from the pace of the novel but I was still there with these characters all the way up to the end, I still wanted the best for them, and I was happy with the way things ended.  A little bit good, a little bit bad.  It kind of fit with the whole trilogy's themes of blurry grey patches in between the black and white of morality and good and bad.  I enjoyed it and I can very much recommend this trilogy for fantasy lovers, for those looking for adventure, addictive reading, a great heroine at the heart of the story, romance lovers. 

The Winner's Kiss by Marie Rutkoski

The Winner's trilogy by Marie Rutkoski has been one of my favourite trilogies ever.  I was completely blown away by the first book in the series (The Winner's Curse), I thought the second (The Winner's Crime) was somehow even better building more and more on what I loved about the first book in the series and, if I'm honest, I was so nervous to start the third and final book in the trilogy, The Winner's Kiss for fear of this third book wouldn't live up to the others, that somehow I'd find a way to be disappointed. In the characters, in the relationships, in the way the story progressed.  That is why I put off reading this book for such a long time.  Someone needs to go back and shake past-Michelle.  Past-Michelle was an idiot.  Because The Winner's Kiss was everything I wanted in the conclusion to Kestrel and Arin's stories.  And for all of the characters.  

This trilogy was so much about strategy and political intrigue.  I loved how much this book is about politics and how much the lies and decisions of the things they'd done in the past weighed heavily on our characters.  It's also a book about friendship, about memories, about family and priorities. 

This book and the entire trilogy felt so incredibly emotional to me.  I was constantly crying or laughing or had my heart in my throat wanting to know what would happen next, how could this characters live with the actions they've done?  The entire cast felt so real to me, the characters of Arin and Kestrel in particular.  And while I was happy with the ending given to them both, I was also disappointed that I would no longer be living alongside them in this world that Marie Rutkoski created. 

Mafiosa by Catherine Doyle 

And the third and final book I wanted to talk about today is Mafiosa by Catherine Doyle the third book in the Blood for Blood trilogy.  Wow, I love this trilogy so much. It was originally pitched to me as a modern day Romeo and Juliet set in Chicago with two warring Mafia families.  And I think what that mini-description misses out is the huge cinematic feel to this story.  Where all the characters and events from gun battles and explosions and heart-wrenching conversations under the stars all feel so real.   So real that I sometimes forgot I was reading this book as opposed to living it.  

The stakes were high in Mafiosa, right from the very first page I worried for the main character, Sophie. That she was in too deep, that the actions at the end of the second book would eat her up, that being involved with the Mafia in the ways she has been would change her too much.  I worried throughout most of the book, in fact. I loved the surprises in this story, I loved where everything ended up going.  I felt so connected to the story, so emotionally invested.  I knew there couldn't be a happy ending for everyone involved, but I liked how each character, even some of the minor characters, were able to shine a little bit on the pages of this story before the end. Before their ends.  

Again, I didn't want this story to end.  I loved Sophie. I loved Millie. I loved Luca. I wanted it all for all of them.  But I'm happy that they all got endings that were right for each of them.  Everything felt pretty true to their characters and I love that I have such a strong opinion what would be true for these characters because of how well Catherine Doyle delivered them on page.  This trilogy definitely comes very highly recommended from me! 

Did you finish many series books in 2016? Which were your favourites?

In Defense of Abandoning Books

So, the other day, I decided to raid my TBR shelves.  For reference, I have five rather large shelves specifically for filling up with unread books.  My normal practices include weeding books out at the end of every month when I add to these shelves the books I had received during that month for review plus the books that I bought myself.  But this past week, despite regularly discarding books on these shelves, I cleared almost an entire shelf of books that I either no longer want to read OR that I flicked through and decided very quickly that I did not want to continue reading.  So I abandoned more than 15 or so books.

And I feel no guilt for that whatsoever. None.

And this is obviously not the first time that I've openly admitted to quitting books based on the covers, the blurbs, the first chapter, sometimes even the first few sentences. Other people have shaken their virtual heads at me in disappointment and quoted their own rules, like giving a book a 'chance' by sticking with it for 50 pages or 100 pages or a number of chapters. Some people keep with a book for the entire journey just for the sake of completion and I do not fully understand any of these thought processes.

And I think the the thing that I find the most baffling with this train of thought, these seemingly bizarre rules for reading ... is that it seems to be the only form of entertainment that is being held to this line of 'giving it a chance'  You never hear of people needing to finish 25% of their meal to see how they feel about a new food option? Or watching an hour of a movie to give it a chance? Listening to an entire song in order to respect the amount of work put into the finished product?  No. To all of the above.

If I hear a song on the radio and hate it, I'll turn the radio off or to a different station.

If I watch a TV programme and something about the first episode drives me crazy (laugh tracks, for instance) I won't sit through any more episodes to see how I feel.

I won't watch more than a few minutes of a movie if I know in those first few minutes that I don't enjoy it.

I know how I feel about stuff, I know the reactions that I have for when I'm enjoying something and when I'm not. So if I pick up a book, and I'm not enjoying it, why wouldn't I stop?  I absolutely trust my own judgement. I cannot think of many (if any?) books that I abandoned too quickly, went back to give the book a second chance and found that initial reaction was too hasty.

Also, I'm aware that there is a lot of input into going into making a book the best it can be. So much work by the authors, obviously, but agents, editors, cover designers etc. And they're all working so hard because they believe in the appeal of this particular story for whatever reason and they work in their separate or overlapping areas in order to give this book the absolute best start in life to find the right audience.

So I figure besides the cover design and blurb, the start of the book has to be it, right? That first sentence is crucial. The start of the book. That first chapter. And I think as a reader, a lot has to be conveyed right from the start. The tone of the book, the style of writing, something of the characters. And something in all of that, needs to grab me as a reader.  And if it doesn't do that straight away? Then that's a whole team of people who did their best.  But I am not the right reader for this book. And I'm okay with that.

There's a whole lifetime of other books in which to devote to my time and energy towards.

Do you have any 'reading rules' ??

#YAShot and Book Events

Over the last few months I have attended two amazing book events, YALC and the Electric Monkey Blogger Brunch.  I did mini-recaps of both events on my youtube channel and I've included them here in case you haven't yet subscribed.  I think being invited to events such as blogger brunches and meeting up with other book bloggers and book tubers (as well as authors!) at events like YALC are my favourite things about being a book blogger and booktuber.

And just thinking about those two events made me realise that I haven't yet discussed an absolutely amazing event that is upcoming very soon ... #YAShot2016

YAShot is an amazing YA and middle grade festival that is in its second year. Through its designs it pairs authors with libraries in order to inspire a love of reading and to create a programme in which young people benefit through the hard work of Alexia Casale and all the authors and other contributors.  

I went last year (and despite leaving early than I'd expected with a migraine!) I had the absolute best time. Last year there was a great vibe amongst the different venues, lots of passion and enthusiasm, a great line-up and some wonderful people attending and taking part.  I went to lots of different panels, heard some fascinating people speak, had lots of my books signed, laughed and caught up with new friends and old and generally felt the entire day was such a good one.  And I've been looking forward to the attending this event again this year.  

Both last year and this year, I've been asked to take part in hosting a blogging workshop! Here's the little write-up plus bio that appears on the YAShot website:

16.40-17.35 Blogging across different platforms with Michelle (Fluttering Butterflies/Bookish Brits)

Don’t know which platform or combination is for you? Need to figure out what sort of content suits which platform? Not sure how to link everything up or how to balance your time between things? Want to set up a group blog or channel? Get the low-down along with Michelle’s advice on working out what’ll work for you.

Michelle is a YA book blogger, booktuber and founder of the booktuber collab-channel Bookish Brits, as well as being a lifelong bookworm. She loves YA, poetry, celebrating diversity, talking about mental health and supporting UKYA and libraries. Michelle is an American/British mother of two, a part-time university student and a roller-coaster enthusiast. She’s been blogging for over 10 years and, during that time, Fluttering Butterflies has been named in CISION’s Top Ten Teen Literature blogs in the UK for three years; Fluttering Butterflies and Bookish Brits have also been shortlisted for the UKYABA.

So... that's pretty cool, right?  Here's the thing though. I'm definitely bringing lots of passion and enthusiasm to this workshop and over 10 years' worth of experience from a blogging perspective. But help me out here, what is it that you would be interested in hearing from me? I honestly could speak forever about my blogging tips and advice, sharing my blogging advice and highlights ... but what would you really like to hear about? Like I said previously, being part of this community is one of my favourite things ever so I'm reaching out for some advice to make my workshop the most helpful and useful that it can be!

I'd love to have a rough idea of what you'd like from me beforehand and of course if you're in Uxbridge and are free on Saturday 22nd October, I'd love to see you there!

What's Next

I know I haven't been around much lately... and again, I'm not going to apologise.  It's been difficult lately. For so many reasons.  I was going to write a much different post than this one tonight but in the end, this felt like what I needed to write.  Stick with me.

Reason Number 1)

Summer was pretty hard to manage. At times I wanted to read more, blog more, film and edit more videos and instead of doing any of that, so much of my time was spent out with the boys. We did so many things this summer.  We went to theme parks (of course we did) we went to the park and rode bikes and played basketball and tennis. We walked for miles in the woods, around lakes. We played Pokemon, we drew and painted and (they) read books and made forts and watched films. We laughed and had fun.

 And I don't regret one second of that.  Even if it meant the entire summer went by and I hardly read but a few books.  Life is too short, and E and The Littlest won't always want to spend this time with me, you know? I'm making the most of it now.

Reason Number 2)

But it wasn't just the summer either. In early July, I read the most incredible book, Paper Butterflies by Lisa Heathfield (I've already written a review of it and posted that recently!) and it was just so emotional and I felt very ...involved in June's story and her experiences and I was left so wrung out after reading it that I just couldn't bring myself to pick up another book for absolutely ages after that.  Don't you just love books like that? I do. One of those books where it just obliterates me ... it makes me want to either hug the book closer to me and read it again or pass it onto someone else so that her heart can be crushed the same as mine. Or worse. I love passing that emotion along!

But it wasn't even just that.

Reason Number 3)

I'm just not in that place where I'm in love with reading anymore. I don't know what it is.  I mean, I sort of do.  Things are shitty with my dad, with the family I grew up in. I'm in a weird place in my life right now.  And all of that has had a severe blow to my mental health which prevents me from doing things I love.

But what's the hardest for me right now is that through everything in my life, I've always had books to turn to.  Books and stories have always been there for me to help distract and entertain me, they've always been there for me to escape into.  And for some reason, that outlet has been missing for awhile. I've tried shaking things up.  Reading different styles and genres and formats.  And that's had mild success.  The poetry, the non-fiction.

So, what's next?

I know I shouldn't put pressure on myself. I shouldn't force the issue of me not reading.  I know that.  But ... I want to be reading again.  It's been too long now.  At the start of this more-than-year-long-reading-slump I was thinking 'yay, this will be good for me' because it made me examine my identity. It made me work out who I am when I'm not reading, when I'm not blogging or booktubing.  I had a real identity crisis for awhile.  And before it was always just there.  It was always something in my life that I never questioned or considered.  And now I have.  And now I choose to be a reader. I choose to be a book blogger and booktuber. I choose to be part of this community again.  I don't think it'll happen over night, but my plan is to find my way back to those things again.  I realise they might not ever be exactly like they were before, but that's okay.  I'm not the person I was before.  But hopefully I'll figure it out as I go along.

And to get there, I've downloaded three books onto my Kindle that I think will help me back into the place of being a reader and blogger again.  I've chosen three books that I am SUPER excited about, books that I hope will make me addicted to reading again and I hope soon I'll share my progress with you again.

Just to be held accountable, here are the three books up next on my TBR: Witch's Pyre by Josephine Angelini, which is the third book in the Worldwalker trilogy which has had me absolutely gripped!  I love the worlds Josephine Angelini has created, the characters and the relationships. The ending of book two left me desperate to read the next book and when I realised in my blogging malaise I'd somehow missed the release of this book I was super shocked and disappointed. I'm currently reading this and whew, I'm sucked in already.

I've also downloaded the new one by Rachel Vincent, The Flame Never Dies, the follow-up to The Stars Never Rise, which was a book that left me breathless with excitement.  Rachel Vincent really knows how to tell a fast-paced, emotional, addictive story and I cannot wait to see where she takes me with this book.

And the third and final book is Haunt Me by Liz Kessler.  I adore Liz just in general and loved a previous book of hers, Read Me Like A Book. So I'm excited to read more by her. Special bonus is the addition of the importance of poetry into this story of what I can only assume is a love story involving ghosts? I don't know? Don't care either. Without knowing anything about it except Liz Kessler and poetry, I'm already sold.

So there you have it! I look forward to being part of this community again.  Thank you for all your support.

Books I'm Excited For in January 2016

Last year, at the start of every month I tried to post a list of all the upcoming books published in the UK by British authors. I had a lot of fun doing these posts and I got a great response for them.  I mostly compiled those lists to help those of you taking part in the British Books Challenge I was hosting last year ... but this year I'm not hosting that challenge. And this year it feels like too much restriction to be posting only about British authors. So I've decided in 2016, instead, I'll just be sharing a smaller selection of those books I'm most excited to read. And maybe you'll also be excited by some of them too? Who knows. We shall see.

So here we are, a little bit late. The books I'm absolutely the most excited to either read or have more people reading during the month of January!

Inferno by Catherine Doyle

Luckily, I've already read Inferno, the explosive and hugely exciting sequel to Vendetta. You can look out for my review and a guest post from Catherine on the blog soonish. But definitely do get your hands on a copy of this book, if you haven't already or if (somehow!) it's slipped your radar! It's about a girl caught up in a complicated family thing involving the mafia.  There's love and friendship and family and action and I couldn't possibly love it anymore than I do.

Mind Your Head by Juno Dawson and Dr Olivia Hewitt

I'm a huge fan of Juno's in general, but I'm really super looking forward to this guide to mental health for teenagers and young people. From the second I heard that Juno would be writing another non-fiction guide for young people (following Being A Book and This Book Is Gay) I was very excited. Mental health is definitely a topic close to my heart and I really hope this book is as amazing as I hope it will be.

This Raging Light by Estelle Laure

I managed to get hold of a copy of this book absolutely ages ago and it is so incredible. I cannot wait for more people to read it.  I didn't know a thing about the book before I picked it up (but was really intrigued as to why the publisher chose to send the book along with some fajita seasoning!) but from the very first page I was swept away in the beauty of this book. It's such an emotional story about love and friendship, a great sisterly relationship and some difficult topics written about in such a gorgeous way.

Maresi by Maria Turtschaninoff

This book arrived gorgeously packaged with this beautifully engraved comb with my name on it. It was described as being a fantasy, feminist, Finnish novel and doesn't that just sound incredible?! I've already started reading this book and I love the setting and the characters and everything already. More of my thoughts on this book soon!

Front Lines by Michael Grant

I'm also currently reading this book, the newest book from Michael Grant. It's his first book that I've attempted to read and so far I've found it really easy to feel sympathetic towards the characters I've met and the situation that they're in. I feel like I'll need to prepare myself for harder things to come however... this book is an alternative history book in which laws were passed that allowed for women to join the war effort as soldiers during World War II. Alternative history stories (and indeed historical fiction) aren't normally areas of interest for me, but I'm so curious about this book.

How Not To Disappear by Clare Furniss

I didn't know a single thing about the plot of How Not To Disappear when it was first offered to me for review but I accepted the request immediately because I adore both Clare Furniss and her debut book, The Year of the Rat. Both feelings were strong enough for me to be hugely excited about this one and dive in without knowing anything else. I figured it was going to be just as beautifully-written and emotional as Clare's first book. And so far it is. More to come! 

All the Rage by Courtney Summers

I'm very, very excited that Macmillan are publishing Courtney Summers in the UK. Especially All the Rage, her very important book that deals with rape and rape culture. I read this book last year when it was first published in the US (because I'm such a Courtney Summers fangirl!) and I'm excited and hopeful that the UK publication will bring lots more readers to both CS and this story.

What books are you looking forward to reading in January?

Top 10 favourite books in 2015

Flipping through the lists of books this year, many books jumped out at me. Iusually find it quite difficult narrowing down a list to just 10, but these books were all so incredible that it was not that hard this year. Probably helped by the fact that in a normal year, without so many book slumps I'd have read approximately 80 more books than I did this year. Oh well. In no particular order...

The Astrologer's Daughter by Rebecca Lim

The Astrologer's Daughter is the biggest surprise on my list. I didn't know anything about the book before I sat down to read it, I'd never read anything by the author before AND I actually thought I was reading a book from a different publisher than I was (I thought it was a Penguin book rather than Turnaround) but I gave this book a chance and I'm so glad that I did.

It's very different than I'd expected it to be. This is a mystery and a contemporary story but it has this wonderful inclusion of astrology and a means of using astrology as a way of compiling forensic profiling information. It was brilliant.  I also loved the main character's musings about race and racism and being mixed-race. I loved her relationship with her mother and this reluctant friendship she has with a boy in her class that turns into more. This book was so very emotional and addictive reading for me and I cannot highly recommend it!

It's About Love by Steven Camden

I absolutely adored It's About Love by Steven Camden! I heard Steven Camden speak at YALC over the summer and became hugely intrigued by this story. I loved how much this book is about writing and screenplay and the creative process behind that. It's also a book about film and has some fantastic film references. It's about growing up and friendships and about your hometown. It's about falling in love and about family.  It felt like this book had a great deal truth woven into the words and I just loved how emotional I felt while reading this book.

Firewalker by Josephine Angelini

First of many fantasy books included on this list, we have Firewalker by Josephine Angelini. This is the explosive sequel to Trial By Fire which was equally incredible. I think what I loved so much about Firewalker is that everything that I loved about the first book was brought up a notch in Firewalker. Everything felt MORE emotional, MORE thrilling, MORE addictive. I find it incredible how Josephine Angelini manage to write such a pacy, exciting book with such a fantastic setting and with amazing characters with complex, emotional relationships together. Rowan and Lily are totally my OTP. And I'm dying to read the next one. Give it to me.

The Young Elites by Marie Lu

So much to love about The Young Elites. I love the setting and all the world-building involved in this fantasy land. I loved the characters and found it really interesting getting to know this band of supernaturally-gifted teenagers. But the reason that this book has made it onto my list of favourite reads this year is the main character, Adelina. I just adored her so much. I love that she's passionate and a bit wary of trusting anyone, including herself. And I just absolutely adored that this book went to a very dark place and we explored some of this moral ambiguity and some of Adelina's pain and the rejection she receives from so many people in her life. I should have already picked up the sequel by now, but haven't I really hope that this trilogy continues to be wonderfully dark and exciting!

Fire Colour One by Jenny Valentine

You know I don't like picking favourites ... but if I had to choose an absolute favourite from this list of books, I think I'd choose Fire Colour One.  I heart Jenny Valentine just in general, but I really, really loved Fire Color One. It was a short, quick read but it was so emotional that as soon as I finished it, I wanted to flip over and start reading it all over again.  I like that this book had so much to do with art and being truly yourself and authenticity. It's also a book about family and grief and about fire and consuming relationships and it's just so wonderful. Jenny Valentine is such a beautiful writer and I shall always be excited to read anything she ever writes.

The Rest Of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness

I remember talking to someone about this book recently ... and I agree, The Rest of Us Just Live Here isn't as emotionally-charged as the Chaos Walking trilogy and it can be hard to fall into the comparison hole. But I really loved this book. I loved how this book is about a circle of friends and just figuring stuff out. I loved that this book deals really cleverly with important topics such as OCD and sexuality and an eating disorder as well as it being a book about love and friendship and high school. There's a scene towards the end of the book that made me sob. It was exactly what I needed to read at the exact right timing and for that, this book is included on my list! 

House of Windows by Alexia Casale

Oh, how much did I love this book?! Fascinating main character, the wonderful Cambridge University as a setting and the most wonderful relationships ever. What I loved so much about House of Windows is how emotionally connected I felt for the main character and everyone in his life. All the crazy, complicated friendships and family members and how he really comes to redefine 'family' in this great way. Books about family and belonging are some of my absolute favourites so it's no surprise that Alexia Casale appears on my list of favourites yet again!

The Stars Never Rise by Rachel Vincent

Wow, this book. I don't think I've ever read a book as quickly as I read The Stars Never Rise. And I think that was down to Rachel Vincent's incredible writing-style. It was so fast-paced and addictive that I couldn't help but be thrown onto this rollercoaster of a ride. I love the world and world-building. I'm intrigued to know more and explore these characters more in the next books in the series. But I'm absolutely gasping to find out more about this very, very unusual romantic partnership. How on earth is that going to work?! I need answers! I need them now.

Simon Vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

I think Simon Vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda is the book I've raved and recommended the most in 2015. It's such a sweet story and Simon and Blue are the absolute cutest couple ever. Love them. And this book, especially as it has the most adorable love story ever included but it's also about coming out to friends and family and about friendships and navigating high school and being okay with who you are and being open to possibilities. I won't be surprised at all to see this book on lots of best of the year lists. It definitely deserves it! 

No More Confessions by Louise Rozett

Love this series. I think this third book in the Confessions trilogy by Louise Rozett was possibly an e-book only release? I'm not sure. I just could not resist finding out how Rose and Jamie Forta would end up.  And I loved every second of this. I've loved seeing how much Rose Zarelli has grown in these three books. From being an angry girl to an independent young woman. Love the stuff with her family and her friendships and her music. I just thought it was an incredible way to end her story.  Even if Rose and Jamie continually break my heart into little pieces! 

So those were my favourite reads of 2015. I'd love to hear what books make your list!