Wee Wee Dance

I didn't want any visitors except my husband, my son and my mother-in-law. People offered, but in those first few days, when I had the catheter in, it was just too much for me to think about - people coming in and seeing my bag of urine hanging off the side of my bed. And I was still in pain during those days. I don't think I know anyone well enough (husband aside) to start crying in front of them. So I said no to them all. They took the catheter out once they thought I was able enough to hobble to the toilet, but even then they told me they had to monitor the amounts I passed. Everytime I went to the toilet, I had to ring the nurse's bell, and say 'I've just peed, go have a look' That was hard. It seemed like all my dignity was being stripped slowly away from me. But there were funny times as well, and I had to hold on to those while I was in there. Once, I remember I had to go to the loo desperately, but there weren't any of those bedpan thingys in my toilet, that I had to wee in, so one of the nurses ran off to get me some more. I was just standing there, with my IV next to me, wriggling a bit, swaying sort of trying not to think of just how badly I needed to pee, and another nurse walks past my room, smiles and says 'It's always nice to have a little dance'