Thursday, February 05, 2009
On music that brings back memories...
I walked in the door the other day, having just dropped Elliot off at pre-school to the sound of the radio. In my mad rush to get out the door, I'd forgotten to switch it off. The song playing was 'What's Love Got To Do With It' by Tina Turner. That song for me is one that brings back an intense feeling.
I'm not so great with actual memories. Sounds and smells and all of that bring back feelings for me rather than a specific memory of actual events, and What's Love Got To Do With It reminds me of my mother, and in a good way. I can picture us laughing and dancing in the kitchen to this song. I'm not sure if we ever did laugh and dance to this song, but I like to think so. Maybe my mom just always turned up the radio when this song was playing. Either way, it reminds me of being happy as a child.
It reminds me of a time when I was maybe 6 or 7. During the summer my brother and I would run off and collect wild blackberries and my mom would bake them into a pie for us. It was back when we still did things together as a family and ate dinner at the dining table. My mom would make us dinners of lasagna with spinach or whole stuffed fish with the heads still attached and I'd complain about the bones in the fish or how the spinach ruined the taste of the lasagna.
On the weekends, she'd take me and my brother to a rec center nearby and we'd do Native American arts and crafts. She'd make these pretty little triangle-beaded earrings and let me choose the colours and she was trying to show me how to loom myself a belt and take me to Pow-wows and I always had elephant ears and loved to listen to the drumming and watch the dancers.
I think back on it now and I'm amazed at my mother. When I was 6 or 7, she was the same age that I am now. How would I have coped with a 7 year old and a 9 year old, in a loveless relationship away from any friends or family? She was so young to have so much going on. I see her in a different light now that I have children of my own. That different perspective makes things a little better and a little worse all at the same time. But I can respect that things were hard for her.
It's so easy now, after everything that has happened between us, to look back and only remember the bad times, the nasty things we said to each other, the things that we did. But there were good times as well. And I need to hold on to the good times more than anything.
Everytime I hear this song, everytime Tina Turner belts out in her amazing voice the chorus to this song, I think of happy times.
What songs do you attach particular feelings or memories to?