My Littlest at Big Boy school

Yesterday was the first day of big boy school for my Littlest.  He'll be going two mornings this week, once with me, and once without. And then by tomorrow, he'll be going full days in Reception.  And I shall be weeping.  It'll be the first time in 7 years that my house will be fully quiet during the hours between 9-3:30.  I'm going to miss my little boy something terrible.  What will I do without his noise and his cuddles and without seeing that beautiful face of his all the time? 

In time, I shall be looking for a part-time job, something to bring in a bit of extra spending money and something that will keep me occupied for a few hours every day. But until then, I think I shall just wallow in my misery.  Both my boys are just so grown-up now that it hurts.

Happy 7th birthday E!

Dear E,

Happy birthday my beautiful little boy!  Every year around your birthday, I start having flashbacks of when you were a newborn, all tiny and helpless.  I remember how those overwhelming feelings I had after you were born - I loved you so immensely and wanted to protect you and have you near me forever. You taught me about the power of love and that I have an unlimited capacity for that love, which I never thought possible.

And thinking about all of that, I then look up and there you are.  7 years old.  You're so tall and clever and funny and gorgeous.  I look at you and I feel so proud. You've turned into this really thoughtful and kind little boy.  A little boy who plays gently with younger children, someone who gets on well with people of any age.  You're a delight to be around, always trying to make other people happy and to make them laugh. 

You try so hard at everything you do, you're so curious about the world around you and because of that you inspire me.  I want to show you the entire world and let you loose on learning everything that interests you - from space to animals, to trains to dinosaurs and languages and geography.  I love listening to your stories and jokes and the questions that you think to ask. 

I love your beautiful smile and your easy laughter, your kindness, your curiosity.  I'm so proud of you and I'm proud to be your mother. Happy 7th birthday, my gorgeous son.

Love always,

Your mom

My Littlest at nursery

...It's finally time. My Littlest turned three in March, and now he's old enough to go to nursery for half a day during the week. We've settled on afternoons for him and we had a little nursery visit beforehand and a home visit from some of the nursery workers.

Through it all, Littlest has felt a little nervous about attending. I'd noticed since my Eldest went off to primary school last September that my Littlest felt a little unsure of himself. A little shy around other people that doesn't show up as much when his big brother is around him to give him comfort and assurance. Now that he's on his own, Littlest has always felt a little unsteady. When I took him to swimming classes and a music and dance class he's always shied away and even hid from children his own age. So I worried.

I worried that he might find going to nursery to be a trying time for him. I worried that he'd want me there or that he'd be afraid. But something happened recently, or it could just be a gradual change in himself but whatever the case, his first day at nursery was last week. And he was thrilled and excited to go.



We live quite near the nursery, it's only a few minutes walk away. And every day that he's been, he bounces along or drags my arm to hurry and when he sees the school, he shouts 'MY SCHOOL!' and does his little dance.



And at the same time as being absolutely thrilled to bits that he's had no trouble, I'm also a little sad. He's my baby. I've spent the last three years with him constantly nearby, entertaining him and reading to him. And now the house is so quiet without his beautiful laughter filling it up.

I hold him tight when I go to collect him every day.

First bike

I remember my first proper bike. It was red. It had a white banana seat, and I'm not really sure if the handlebars had tassles or if I only really, desperately wanted tassles so much that I've re-remembered my bike with them because it makes me happy. Either way, I was very happy with my little red bike. I think back on that red bike with very fond memories of cycling around the neighbourhood with friends. The time I tried to go down that steep hill that only the really big kids used, fell off my bike and broke my glasses.

It makes me a little sad/happy that here Oldest is with HIS first bike. I wonder what memories he'll have on that. I hope they're happy and safe memories.


What was your first bike like?

Summer Treasure Hunt

On Wednesdays, my mother in law looks after Littlest during the day. She gets to spend some one-on-one time with Littlest, and I get to have a special day just Oldest and I. On Fridays, it's the other way around. Me with LIttlest, her with Oldest.

Last week, for our special Wednesday treat, Oldest and I went to a local shopping centre and had our own little lunch date and looked at Thomas trains. This week, we went to the library (for Thomas books) and then went on a summer treasure hunt that one of our favourite local parks was hosting.

It was such fun. I wasn't sure about going because it had been raining quite a bit the previous day, during the night and early morning. But it was dry when we set out. Oldest loved jumping in the puddles anyway. We ran around the park, answering a bunch of questions, taking silly photos. Oldest is such a character. That first photo? With the geese? As that photo was being taken Oldest whispered to me - 'mommy? ducks don't eat people, do they?'

Love, love, love spending time with Oldest. He's growing up so quickly, becoming so much more independent. I want to hold onto him and never let him go. I have planned some (hopefully) special things with him over the next few weeks.

Oldest and Littlest

Aren't my boys lovely? For me, these two photos seem to capture Oldest's and Littlest's own personalities perfectly.

Nothing else to add today. My assignment is finished and has been sent off to my tutorial. Phew, that really is a load off my mind.

Did I mention?

That Joshua is now walking? He's very pleased with himself too! I said it'd be soon, I just didn't think it'd be this soon...

(haven't been able to take a good walking photo as yet - this one'll have to do. He's very puppyish in this one)

Doing Our Bit..

..for Red Nose Day! Elliot and the rest of the children at his pre-school were asked to dress up last Friday and then the children put on a fashion show for their parents! It was very cute and Elliot was so sweet. He walked in front of everyone and then ran to give me a hug! My sweet, adorable little boy.

N stitched the ribbon and button onto Elliot's cape, and I crafted the mask together. I think the combination of the two worked quite well together!

Three years, One Month and Twenty Odd Days, or 'Why can't she take a hint?!'

I've mentioned it ten zillion times already and no one seems to be impressed by it at all, but I've taken photos of both of my sons every day since they were born. I've tried to capture everything, the good days, the bad days. Oldest and then Littlest, sleeping, crying, laughing, playing with their favourite toys, with their friends, eating, learning new things.

I like to look at the photos and remember that for a few weeks, Littlest's favourite toy was a blue spaceman that he'd clutch for dear life and that Oldest would concentrate really hard when he was playing with his wooden train set. I've always believed it was the details, the small over-looked things that when you add them all is what makes a life special.

I've enjoyed my photos-a-day. I have. But it's time I took a hint, really. After days and days of photos like the above, where Oldest covers his face, turns away or hides. When everytime I pull the camera out he yells 'NO PHOTOS MOMMY, NO PHOTOS' So for his sanity, I will stop. Photos every day will continue until Littlest hides or covers his face (may that be years from now), but I will no longer include Oldest in this particular brand of parent-child torture.

It won't feel the same.

First Day at Preschool

Did I mention that Wednesday was Elliot's first afternoon at pre-school? N took a half day especially for it. We knew that Elliot seemed excited to go, but we weren't sure how he'd take the idea of us leaving him there. We all walked there together, waited until the doors were open, I took off Elliot's coat and hat and gloves and then he just ran off... he had this silly little grin on his face the entire time he was there. I had to go up to him in the middle of playing and tell him I was leaving. He gave me a hug and said 'I love you' but I could tell he was so much more interested in this new place than he was in me leaving. Which is a good thing, it's great that there was no difficult transition period. But it didn't stop me from being a little teary-eyed all afternoon. When I got home, I curled up on the sofa with a blanket and put a movie on to try to distract myself from the fact that my little boy is so grown up.