Disappointed

Last year, I was disappointed when NaBloPoMo ended because I had so much to write about and I felt like I needed a push in the right direction. This year, I'm disappointed because I wanted to write about so many different things, and never found the time. This year it felt more like a chore, something I HAD to finish and dragged my feet about. So I never got around to posting my ultrasound photo, never wrote about finding out the sex of our new baby, never posted a pregnant belly photo, never wrote about Elliot's birthday party or birthday, you didn't hear about our Thanksgiving, I didn't tell you about the great book I just finished, or write about my thoughts on being baptised. And I guess that's OK. Now I'll blog in my own time and hopefully be more interesting. Well done to anyone else who have completed the challenge... sorry I didn't do more commenting. This weekend will be pretty busy, what with N's work Christmas party tomorrow and our anniversary on Sunday. Stick around though, I still have lots to say.

Wedding stuff...

M tagged me this month to write 7 (was it 7? 8?) things about me, but then I saw over at Gina's that she did a similar thing about her wedding and I liked that better. Plus, it's sort of fitting as this weekend is N and my 7th wedding anniversary. So bear with me, I'm a girl who likes details...

1. I've probably already mentioned this before, but N and I met on the internet. We first started chatting together the 4th of December, 1998. One year later, on the 10th of December 1999, we met for the first time face-to-face. And almost one year later, on the 2nd of December we got married. December means a lot to us, understandably.

2. N and I no longer speak to either of the ushers we had at our wedding, or one of the women who did a reading. I guess we should have chosen different people...

3. I had a big poofy whatchamacallit under my dress to make the skirt poof out more, but in my nervousness that morning, I managed to put the thing on inside out so the scratchy bits were against my legs but I still didn't realise until I'd gotten to the reception.

4. The wedding bands N and I wear were made from melting down N's father's engagement ring. During the ceremony, the rings got mixed up and N's ring ended up on my finger and mine on his, and neither one fit the other, so we had to swap once we were back down the aisle.

5. The only two people who came from my side of the wedding, were my father and friend, Diane. I knew practically NO ONE else at the wedding or reception, but still managed to speak to everyone.

6. I came to England on a fiancee visa, which meant I had a 6 month time period to get married. Our first choice of dates was the 2nd of December, but our fall back choice was the 20th January - which if written out in numbers is 20/01/2001.

7. Our wedding date fell on the eve of Advent, which meant that even while N and I and our guests were still in the church garden having our photos taken after the ceremony, the church wedding flowers were already being cleared out.

8. I can't watch my wedding video because I'm so embarassed at the terrible unprepared speech I made. In fact, if I ever watch the video at all, I only watch the beginning, which starts off with a collage of photos of N and I growing up followed by photos of us together.

Let me know if you're playing along!

Happy 2nd birthday Elliot!

This photo pretty much says it all.

Year in review

N and I have been going through photos of Elliot taken over the last year and we're finally sending some off for printing. I thought I'd share some of my favourite photos...

The thing is...

The thing about having my dad here for a visit is that he likes to talk. He doesn't seem to mind telling our family's sordid history to anyone. Which is fine for him. Really. I wish I could talk as openly about our family sometimes as well. But I don't. It still feels uncomfortable for me, but when my dad is in town, I do have to find a way to deal with him telling my friends and family about my mother and how she doesn't much care for me as a person, or how my brother has had so many run-ins with the law. I guess it all takes time and each person handles difficult situations in different ways. It's hard, but it's only once a year, right?

MMMMmmm, cake

I can't believe I left the camera downstairs!

I really wanted to post photos of the party today but they're all downstairs and you can't expect a pregnant woman to be traipsing up and down the stairs all the time :) The party turned out GREAT! Even better than I thought it would. My homemade fairy cakes were delicious, the kids were dancing around and having fun. Good conversation everywhere. I was really pleased with the whole event. A few highlights of the party: when one little girl decided to smear icing all over another girl's face and that girl let her, and when Elliot clapped after everyone sang 'Happy birthday' and blew out his two candles all by himself. It was so nice to see Elliot so happy and surrounded by his friends and family. I love that kid. I swear I will post photos tomorrow. Or possibly Sunday. But really I just want to go lie in bed after a really long day and watch the X Factor. And then possibly stay up the rest of the night reading my new book (Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer) and will try not to think about what tomorrow will bring. Thanks for your comments on my previous post - I'm still counting down the days until the end of November!

I knew it'd be hard...

...but I didn't realise it would be this hard to maintain posting for this whole month. I understand why no one's commenting, I wouldn't want to read my blog either, but I just don't have the energy to post interesting things right now. There's too much going on with Elliot's party, entertaining my dad, worrying about my baptism. We still have presents to be wrapped, the cake to be collected, some baking all for tomorrow. We have no music, not enough chairs, we've just realised we have no tapes for our digital camcorder. Did I tell you I chopped my hair off a few days ago? I still haven't scanned my ultrasound photo... I have so many things to do and to remember and this blog is sadly not getting my full attention. I haven't hardly been visiting other blogs and am doing zero commenting. So I apologise to all of my regulars and everyone who used to have the occasional comment from me...

Party preparations...

-The cake has been ordered, but we weren't able to sample it beforehand, so I'm hoping it'll taste nice as well as look nice.

-Balloons have been blown up and enough seating has been laid out.

-The house has had a major tidy, which it desperately needed.

-Elliot has a new cute outfit to wear, fitting for his likes and interests.

-Presents are all bought, but not yet wrapped.

-One banner has been put up, still others need to be bought and hung.

-Party food has been agreed upon, still needs to be bought.

-Goodie bags have been sorted and organised.

-WHAT AM I FORGETTING?! It's the day after tomorrow!

A little early...

N sent me a fun Happy Thanksgiving message, and I thought I'd share the site with all of you, mostly because I have nothing better to write about, but also it's cute. So go send your own holiday greetings... even to me, if you like :)

..

N's sister had a baby boy, born naturally yesterday afternoon. Both baby and mum are fine - no name for the baby as yet.

My dad arrived this afternoon and has had a wonderful day playing with Little Boy.

The electricity company were doing work outside of our house during Elliot's naptime today, therefore *I* wasn't able to nap as well. Which means that by now I'm thoroughly exhausted and will now head for bed.

A short one

N's working late and I might not get the time to post this later. I feel like I'm shortchanging my blog readers somehow by not sticking to plan of interesting blog ideas, but I just can't do it right now. We went to our weekly coffee afternoon today even though it was pouring down with rain. There was a 4 month old baby there, and I've never seen Elliot be so affectionate before. He's usually quite cuddly and likes to give kisses, but today he couldn't stop petting this little boy on the head and trying to give him toys to play with. It really melted my heart and I hope this is a good indication of what Elliot will be like with his future sibling. (Ha! See how I didn't give the sex of the baby away there?)

N's sister update: She was induced yesterday and has gone into labour. No other news.

This is what I haven't been telling you...

Next weekend, along with Elliot's second birthday party, I'll also be baptised, confirmed and given first communion. I'm not sure why I haven't spoken about it before, but I feel weird about it. Only because I don't know any one else who's gone through a similar experience. It feels strange to be baptised at the age of 25. It's something I'd been thinking about doing for awhile, so I'm not regretting my decision. I'm just feeling a little awkward about standing in church in front of a bunch of strangers. When I decided to take tutorials with my local priest, I honestly thought the process would be a lot longer. I thought I'd have to study, prepare a bit more. I'm still feeling as if there are things about the Catholic faith that I don't fully understand or appreciate at the moment. The last time I spoke to the priest he said I'd need to find a sponsor, someone to stand up with me. I've asked my mother-in-law and I do feel slightly better knowing I won't be up there all alone. But I am still nervous. And a little anxious. But also a little excited. So wish me luck. I'll need it. I'll need it to find something suitable to wear over my expanding stomach. I'll need it to keep Elliot under control for the length of the ceremony seeing as how we'll be in the front pew. I'll need it in order to not mess up or say the wrong thing in my nervousness. And I'll need it for some other awaiting disaster I haven't yet thought of...

Saturday

Here's a photo of Elliot taken about a month ago. Hopefully it'll bring a smile to your faces.

We had a telephone call this evening to say that N's sister has developed further complications and at only 35 weeks, will be delivering her baby very soon. It's unclear as yet if this will happen by inducement of natural birth or by caesarean on Monday. Either way, my thoughts and prayers are with her and her husband.

What a great day...and many more to come?

...but I can't really share it, because I can't figure out how the scanner works, and thus cannot yet post my gorgeous scan photo of my new baby. So until I can, I won't answer those much-loved questions 'is it a boy? is it a girl?' So no asking as it will be futile. Both grandparents know, and so does my brother. N's sister is still in hospital with no change. But best of all, Elliot knows what the sex of the new baby is, and when asked 'are you going to be a great big brother?' he replied with a very firm 'NO!' I guess only time will tell.

Tomorrow, my lovely new bookcases arrive. Tomorrow means 3 days until my dad arrives. Tomorrow means 7 days until Elliot's second birthday party. Tomorrow means 8 days until a major ... as yet unmentioned event taking place in my life. Full explanations and questions answered soon. And I'm sorry I haven't yet managed a belly shot. Would you believe me if I promised one for this weekend? No? I wouldn't either.

Sigh.

Yesterday was a very bad day for me. I'd had a terrible dream the night before which made me worry about the safety of my unborn baby. That's never a great way to start a day. I dropped Elliot off to his grandma's as usual on a Wednesday, came home, and decided to switch on the TV for a little while. I ended up on this programme which was discussing ways to help children cope with death. I don't know why I watched it, I found myself getting more and more upset listening to mothers with terminal cancer and of a woman who had to tell her child who is younger than Elliot that daddy wasn't coming back. Even without my pregnancy hormones swirling around I would have cried. But I was upset the entire day and I gave Elliot far too many hugs and cuddles that he ended up pushing me away by the time dinnertime came around. I just don't know what would happen if something happened to N and I. What would happen to my children? Who would look after them? My father and brother are both too unstable. N's sister is Elliot's godmother, but to be honest, I feel uncomfortable with the idea of her raising my children. N's mother is our only option, and Elliot would love that. She's a great mother, but she's no longer very young and a day with Little Boy tires her out. I'd want the children to stick together, but is two children too much of a burden to place on someone outside of the family? All of our friends are just settling down, what if they want children of their own? The whole idea of it scares me. Is this something everyone thinks about? Do you know what you would do?

And on another (probably just as depressing note) N's sister has been admitted to hospital. She's currently in her 35th week of pregnancy and the doctors are worried about excessive swelling in her legs. Apparently the baby is fine, she just needs some bed rest. Even with our uneasy relationship and ongoing dramas, I do hope everything goes well for her and her baby.

My new favourite pasttime..

...Sitting in bed with N, after Elliot has gone to sleep, flicking through Christmas catalogues and guessing which things we'd both like on each page... I recommend it.

Not usually my sort of thing...

Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Lucy Lawless

Who's Your Celebrity Boob Twin?

But I thought I'd shake things up around here. I saw this blogthing ages ago and thought it was a laugh. In no way whatsoever do my boobs look anything at all like this. In fact, in my head, I'm still a gawky, flat teenager who's overly conscious of her lack of cleavage. It was only post-Elliot that I could ever really justify giving the girls some support. It's funny how over the years things become less important.

I can't remember

...if I've shared this photo of the lovely book box that N made for Elliot awhile back? I really love it. It fits all his picture books nicely, and Elliot gets quite excited to choose which story to read. N wanted to make something so that Elliot could say later 'my dad made that for me' which really is pretty special. I wish my parents had done that for me. Do you have anything similar? Something you look back on fondly with some special memory?

I heart Disney

In case I haven't mentioned it before, I collect character Eeyore beanies. It started the first time N came to visit and it hasn't stopped over the years. I've never really had a proper count of the Eeyore-related merchandise but in our old home we had an entire dedicated to Eeyore with loads of shelves entirely filled up. We have yet to have a place for the donkeys in our current house (so they linger in our packing boxes, completely neglected and unloved), but I'm dying to put them up! We did just buy some shelves at Ikea this afternoon, perhaps they'll see the light of day before the end of the year. Here are the two we bought last weekend. Aren't they cute? And of course we couldn't resist buying Elliot yet more Christmas presents. He loves cars, so what better to get him than this Cars jigsaw and slippers. He's going to be so spoiled rotten soon... but let's hear it from you, any interesting collections?