Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Old Friend

I've never had a proper best friend, someone to whom I'd confide *everything* to - all my secrets, regrets, my latest crushes, my appallingly bad taste in music. All through high school I don't ever remember participating in those 'oh my god, isn't (insert hot guy's name here) hot?' conversations, and I think I missed out. Even when my then best friend in middle school told me she fancied this absolute geek (sorry Brandon, I'm sure you turned out well), I never told her that I too fancied him. Instead, I think I may have teased her about it and told her she had bad taste in men. In fact, I don't have many close friends, I don't think I let people in. There are those people who've known me for more years than I'd normally feel comfortable with, but they're usually email friends or people who don't live in the same country as I do (at least you're closer, Diane!) And before, this may have made me feel pretty low.. but then I remembered someone who'd been there long before everyone else, who shared everything with me, caught my tears and always made me feel better. I love you Charlie!


  1. Ok, maybe we didn't do all the really girly things back in the day, but I do remeber having a Leonardo Dicapro Movie fest for someone who was just madly in love with him... Thanks for the comment on my blog, I kept meaning to tell you about it, but I'm very forgetfull..

  2. It wasn't a criticism - it was more about me than my friends anyway. It's me that doesn't let people in, not the other way around :) I was too scared to tell anyone who I liked (maybe because it was always the Brandons!)

  3. In response to the Leo movie thing--Yes, Michelle, I clearly remember someone who had a copy of all the famous lines from Titanic in her hand constantly during that year in high school, and who studied Leo's every nuance and voice inflection, and who memorized all random facts about the ship Titanic b/c of Leo. Hmmmm...

  4. Funny, Michelle, I was just thinking about this this morning. I also feel like I get so far with friends and then back off. I've never had a 'proper' best friend (I always think about Oprah and Gayle!) and I don't know why. Although I think partly I won't fight. If someone pisses me off I back off from the friendship. Hmmm.

    In fact, I was thinking about ringing a girl I was really really close to and then suddenly no longer close to ask her what she thought went wrong. But I'm worried I'll sound mad (maybe that's the problem!).


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