Scariness

So last night was pretty terrible. Like I mentioned, Elliot hasn't been well. He's been refusing his formula milk and just generally not eating as he should. He's had a fever and some runny stools. His breathing has been really laboured and he has a little snuffly nose. I took him to see the doctor yesterday morning because he was so upset during the night. She said it was just a viral infection, nothing she could do. When we got home, Elliot slept for most of the day. He kept waking up and crying, and I felt so bad for him. We cuddled on the sofa for about 6 hours and luckily he still loves his sippy cup full of water. Anyway, about 6pm, I take him into kitchen for some food. He hasn't been interested in 'normal' food, so I gave him some ReadyBrek. He ate it all, and then sickened it up. And again. And again. And again. Six times in a very, very short period he's been ill, and that's never happened before. His fever is still raging, so I called my husband and decided we'd take little Boy to the doctor. We got seen very quickly by the triage nurse, who didn't seem overly worried about him, but also noticed a rash. Because of the rash and the fever, we had to be seen by the doctor. The doctor came finally, and told us that the rash was very rare, it could be measles. Measles. I didn't know much about measles, so when he left I went looking for the children's vaccine pamphlet... babies are usually given an MMR, a vaccination for measles, mumps and rubella at 13 months, but Els is only 11 months. I don't remember the exact wording in the pamphlet, but it said measles could lead to brain damage and death. I know that's probably rare, but this doctor dropped this bomb on us and left us saying Elliot would have to be admitted and treated. When the triage nurse came back, she mentioned she'd also thought it was measles. I hate hospitals, I hate doctors, and I absolutely hate the idea of anything happening to Elliot. We had to wait longer for a pediatric doctor to see us. The waiting was terrible, I had all these awful thoughts running through my head, I was on the brink of losing it. We'd been in this hospital for hours and they didn't even have any chairs in this little room we were in, just one uncomfortable bed to sit on. Boy was cranky, tired and bored. We were all worried for him. Finally, we met with the pediatric doctor. He checked Elliot over, asked all the same questions again - and he told us to give him lots of water and feed him little lots - and to go home. The rash was nothing more than a symptom of his viral infection. I almost cried from relief. I still hate doctors.