Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Things I'll Never Do

I don't know what originally made me think of it but lately I've been thinking of things that I'll never do again. Perhaps it was compiling the list of things I'd like to do before a certain age? I'm not sure. Either way, it's been on my mind lately and while at times I think of these things in some sort of sad way I've reached a point now where I'm okay with all of this.

My life seems very different to most people's, or at least that's how it seemed as I reached adulthood. I grew up very quickly and in response I made choices that went against what was expected of me. I feel like I did everything early, got married, had children, tied myself into a mortgage and with all these extra responsibilities, I never really had that chance to do typical things that a person in their 20s might do.

(I'm skipping over things like eating horrible things or touching horrible things, doing scary things or wearing animal print. While these things are definitely things I'll never do, that's not what this list is about!)

While there are some things that I hoped to do when I was much younger (road trip across the US, backpack in Europe ... other travel-related things!) I still feel like I can do those things no matter what my age or circumstance.  Here are some things that I'm not so sure about...

Go off to university 

This is has been the hardest thing to miss out on.  As I've been struggling this past week with completing a university assignment with the OU, without any help and without understanding the main section of it, I cried.  I thought of how much easier this all might be to me if I'd gone down the path of actually going to a university instead of doing it all by distance learning.  The help that I would have better access to if only I knew the other people on my course, if I had someone to talk to about it, to bounce ideas off of.  I get a glimpse of it every now and again when I'm at a tutorial and especially when my courses require attending a residential school for a week.  And all of that socialising and spending time with other students makes me realise what I've missed.

Have a one-night stand

When I was writing a list of things I wanted to do before a certain age, I did look at some of those lists that people compile everywhere. Some are specific to age groups, some are specific to getting married. Most contain 'have a one-night stand'  I can't honestly say that it was ever something that appealed to me, mostly because of my low self-esteem and needy tendencies!  I've never done it. Should I have?

Live alone

Somehow I skipped right over this.  I moved out of my family home when I was 17.  I immediately moved in with N.  We got married, not long after we took out a mortgage on our first house. I was 20 at the time.  In all my 30 years, I've never lived on my own.  It must be an experience, living without someone else's company or noise. Relying on nobody else but yourself to do things and make decisions.  I can see the appeal of living alone. 

Have dodgy roommates

I read about this all the time in books and see it in film and TV.  There are weird roommates everywhere. I secretly think that perhaps it would ME that would end up being the weird roommate with the strange habits and behaviours. The one the main character has to deal with and the one that she complains about to her friends. I think this makes my list because it ties in a bit to the university experience. Going to a proper uni might have meant rooming with some random and I like the idea of that. The unknown.

Be hungover

I've mentioned it before but perhaps not recently.  I don't drink alcohol.  I'm not against a sip every now and again to taste some new drink, but that's as far as it goes. It's been drilled into me from an early age that alcoholism is something that runs in my family.  I'm self-aware enough to know that I have a very addictive personality and poor coping mechanisms, so I've avoided drinking at all costs.  I think the only aspect of drinking that I miss is that most people do it as a social event.  Going out with friends, getting drunk, doing silly things together and having that shared experience.  It definitely isn't enough to tempt me.

Is there anything that you feel like you'll never do?


  1. As someone just finishing university, you haven't missed much in the 'learning' part, as classes are helpful but half the class often skips it anyway, leaving discussions bit empty. Then again, the social part of it is great, everyone in the same boat sort of thing - but I commute from home, meaning I miss a lot of the night-life stuff as well. I don't know, there's upside and downsides, as with everything.

    1. Oh definitely! Like I said, a lot of these things I've missed out I used to feel pretty sad about, but I've gotten to that stage where I'm okay with it.

  2. University was not the best time I had and sometimes wonder was it worth the pain? I have made a couple of friends for life but it nearly broke me in the process. (I'm not a social going out person and I was dealing with 4 years worth of long distance relationship)
    I haven't done any of the other things you mentioned and I don't think we have missed out. We will have done things that others will wonder if they missed out on. We are happy and healthy now, right?

    1. Yeah, I'm not at all upset about not doing these things! I was just pondering the idea that there are things I haven't done and will never do..

  3. This is interesting for me because most of the things on your list would (probably) have been accomplished by going to uni! I wouldn't say that you've missed out, though, you've gone a different and probably more challenging route.

    Sometimes I feel like I will never get to travel; there's always something else to do, something else to spend money on, too much to do to organise a trip and conflicting schedules. But it's something I would love to do

    Cait x

    1. I was talking to N about this and about regrets and travelling is what he brought up. He regrets not having done more of it before we had all these other responsibilities. And I can definitely understand that.

  4. I had hangover's between the ages of nineteen and twenty one. I haven't touched alcohol since I was twenty one - five years ago. You are not missing out on the whole hangover front ... believe me! It's not worth it. Drinking to get drunk is the biggest waste of time and money.

    I feel that way about University too sometimes ... and I actually went. I guess you have to be a certain type of person to have the whole social life side of it ... I never have been. With me, I found the biggest regret I had with University is that I didn't know myself well enough at eighteen to know what the best route for me would have been, consequently I feel now that I did the wrong course. I did a Psychology degree and loved it I'll add, but I wish I'd done English Literature.

    I suppose you have to look at what you have in your life that other people reading this would put on their lists of things they don't think they'll ever do.

    1. I'm definitely not unhappy with my choices! I have no major regrets with my life :)


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