Keeping busy and money matters

I was thinking the other day, that as things stand now, I won't be going back to a normal type of job for the next three years. That's three years from April, which I think would be when Second Baby would be eligible for preschool. Three years is a long time. And I think I need something to occupy me, to keep me busy.

For the first time ever last week, I asked N to go through the bills and everything with me, and he explained the process of the different accounts and what savings and stuff we have. It's always been in the back of my mind that I should know these things, if something ever happened to N, I'd be at such a loss. But it also struck me that N works incredibly hard, but we're just scraping by at the moment. Financially it's not worth me going back to work, but I do feel bad. I feel like I should be contributing more in some way.

So I thought maybe I could combine the two. Find some way to work from home, around my children. But everything I've looked at makes me more confused. Here's the shortlist.

First, I thought of childminding. I love being around children, I can do it from home. But am I willing to look after someone else's child? Do I want to go through all the security checks and jump through all the hoops? Especially if I'd only ever get paid something like 4 pounds an hour, and couldn't look after more than 3 children under 5 at any one time, including my own children. So with Elliot and Second Baby I'd only have one slot open. Plus I've heard that the town I live in particularly is over-saturated with childminders, all with more experience and drive than I would probably be. There doesn't seem to be a lot of pro's connected with this first option.

Then I thought, what about direct selling? Like the Avon lady, but with a more modern twist. The toddler groups I go to always have a little stall selling someone's products, from chocolates to discounted books. I considered selling cards... I considered selling wooden toys... books. All seem to have something going against them. The cards were nice, but I'd have to pay an annual fee to keep my membership. The wooden toys were nice, but they required me to fork out at least 200 pounds initially. The books are a nice idea, but I thought read somewhere that I had to work towards a target, and their books aren't discounted. Who would buy books from me at full price when they can go to a bookstore?

Ages ago, I saw on the NCT website, that the NCT offer to pay 75% of the fees needed to train a person into becoming an antenatal teacher. What a great idea. I loved my antenatal classes, and pregnant women are always fascinating to be around. But the training involved would take 2 and a half years, involving learning the anatomy and physiology of pregnant women. First, do I want to commit myself to something that long and second, science has always scared me.

The thing with all of this that I have doubts about, is how does self-employment work? How do I go about the whole income tax thing? I'd love to know what other people do as well. A few blogging friends freelance write, and I've always loved the idea. But how does one get into such a thing? What if I have no niche topic to write about?

The other thing that's been on my mind is going back to university, which might enable me to get a better job in the long run. It's always been in the back of my head, but I always hesitate around the subject. Because I've failed so miserably at it in the past, I have very little confidence in myself. And because of this, I'm really indecisive.

I've considered doing a work-based degree. Maybe start off working in a nursery, get a foundation degree. Top it off and possibly go into primary school teaching. But can I ultimately see myself as a teacher? Is it just a nice idea, but one that would never work for me? I don't know. Sigh.

Otherwise, there is another degree that interests me. I went through a university prospectus and circled all the courses I was interested in, and looked into what type of degree I'd end up with. The result was a degree in social sciences with an emphasis in psychological studies. Sounds very technical and important, and I'm sure I would enjoy the courses, but what would I achieve with such a degree? In what field would I end up in?

Maybe I just need to think about things some more, do some research. In the meantime... nothing I suppose. Three years sure is a long time.